I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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