I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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