PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
