So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
