We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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