He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
