We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
