she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
