24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
