Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Every concussion has its silver lining
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
