we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
