he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
