I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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