Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
