you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
