I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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