i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
