Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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