im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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