Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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