Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
