would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
