Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
