i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
