she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she peed on how many people?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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