He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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