Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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