On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You smell like a Billy Joel song
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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