i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
