I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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