My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
In America we eat man semen.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize