i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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