i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
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