I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
