to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
