At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
