So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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