if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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