please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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