he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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