Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize