Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
