is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He passed out mid-signature
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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