Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
