Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
