I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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