Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
