I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
