Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
