I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
