But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize