butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
