windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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