He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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