booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize