Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize