it was like his penis was on wheels.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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