I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
