I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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