like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
